Why Pursuing Happiness doesn’t work AT ALL!

There are 2 things human beings want. To be happy and to not suffer. Hence, in our pursuit of happiness, we want things like success, friends, marriage, family, health, wealth, etc. To a point where wanting correlates with the package of being human. And naturally, when we don’t get it, it affects our happiness levels and well-being. I was similarly getting too affected to the point that the pursuit of happiness started looking like a pursuit of suffering. And what changed my perspective was this one conversation with my mentor that changed everything:

“The source of deep happiness is inside you. It cannot come from an outside source. And you are already Happy.”

It was then I realized that my pursuit of happiness was actually a pursuit of pleasurable experiences and validation that was coming from the outside. The beautiful dress that I wanted; the lovely meal with friends I was longing for; getting married to the right person; my family recognizing how brilliant I was (never happens no matter how much you pursue it btw). All a pursuit of pleasant feelings but deep happiness was never in the conversation.

Then what is my purpose? I asked my mentor.

“Your gift to the world is to discover your own radiance that arises out of a peaceful and joyful heart and mind. Practice pursuing that and you will experience that when one is joyful and peaceful, the pleasant experiences are beautiful, and the unpleasant experiences are not a problem.”

It was then I realized I was playing the wrong game with the rules that were told to me by the society, culture, and people around me. In essence, following these rules was just helping me attract the energy I was putting out. The energy to want something external to make up for a lack inside me was only pointing out the lack of the external thing that I wanted. Hence, making me unhappy to the point of suffering. That journey of suffering is sustained by our very own culture, which is RELENTLESS at the STORY about what makes us happy, and because we don’t have any other examples, we BELIEVE that only when we get what we WANT (and what we want is what our culture tells us we want), we will ever be happy.

So, I decided to pursue a radiant peaceful mind and a pure heart instead of happiness. And I realized that the process of doing so resulted in me achieving the outcome – happiness. And my wish for you is the same: